My Little Thrill Seeker
by McRaider
Summary: Jesse Duke's thoughts during the Carnival of Thrills Part 2, at the very beginning when he's talkin' to Bo, and a scene we don't see at the end...but probably should


MyLittle Thrill Seeker  
McRaider  
Summary: Uncle Jesse's thoughts over his nephew right after the fight as he's saying goodbye to the boy and watching him drive away.

I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat as we walk to the car slowly, "I know you don't wanna be lectured to…but, well there's a couple o' things I want ya ta take with ya," I paused as I watched him lean over the general. No doubt trying to hide the tears that were forming in his eyes, and to avoid seeing those that were forming in mine, "First one is, I want ya to know I love ya dearly," I stopped again, swallowing the lump as he turned to me. I smiled weakly and pulled out my red handkerchief, I wiped his nose like I had so many years ago. He was my little boy, and as I looked up into his beautiful blood shot blue eyes I felt my heart constrict. "The other one is, whenever you get through doin' whatever it is ya gotta do, realize this is your home, you can always come back."

"Uncle Jesse, I reckon it's Luke that's gotta do some of the realizing," I nodded slowly at his words and watched him climb into the car.

My little thrill seeker, from the time he had been a little fella runnin' around in nothin' but his overalls. From the time I found him tryin' to climb up to the left when he was no more than four years old.

He was my little thrill seekers, he got a rush from thrills, from driving, hunting, I knew why he did what he did, I was no fool, I had raised him from an infant, six months old. I sighed, allowing my mind to wander as I watched and listened to the General charging off down the road.

_I slowly made my way into the yard and shook my head, "Bo, stop drivin' them chickens crazy!" I called strongly to my little nephew._

_The youngest of the group, he was always the first to shy away from unknown people, but he was also the first to get into the most trouble. I took my eyes off him, to feed one of our horses when I heard a loud scream of terror from the direction of my nephew._

_I turned and felt my heart stop in my chest, Bo was such under one of mules screaming as it kicked at him. _

I'll never knew how I got to him so quickly and was able to scoop his small frame up into my arms and get him away from that blasted mule. I wanted nothing more than to yell and spank that child at that very moment. However, I just remember him screaming and cry in fear in my arms. I had told Martha I would punish him the next day. And I would have…if he hadn't woken me up in the middle of the night crying from a nightmare.

He was a little thrill seeker, and had been from such a little tyke, I suppose part of that is my fault. I let him become such. I was like any parent, firm and strong with my eldest child, punished him when he deserved it, loved him when he needed it and told him every day how much I loved him. I was softer on my middle child, Daisy, my only little girl, my niece was the apple of my eye, and she still was. She was automatically calmer than both her cousins being a girl, but that didn't mean that I never spanked her…I could remember a time or two when I had been forced to spank my little angel.

Then there was Bo, when he came it had been Martha, me and Luke, then Daisy arrived a few years later. I watched him grow from a tiny baby who had breathing problems. The doctors hadn't even promised he would survive past his first year because of his premature birth. Perhaps that was one reason why I didn't punish him many times in the early years. He got away with things that Luke never would have, but perhaps it was because I wanted him to really live a happy childhood. Luke was already fairly mature by the time he arrived to us.

I don't deny that I punished him, there were many times when he pulled stunts that landed him across my knees for a firm spanking, but there were times when I couldn't find it in my pull old heart to punish him for doing things most children did.

I shook my head, times hadn't changed him, age hadn't caused him to change, he was a little smarter, much stronger, more out going than ever…but he was still young and he still made mistakes that could cost him a great many things. I just prayed every night that he would grow up quicker and maybe come to his sense. However, he was only twenty, he was still a boy, he was the baby of the family…he was allowed to be young, to be naive at times.

I ached to hold him, like I had for so many years before. Hold him like I had when I read him stories, or when he cried from nightmares. I wanted nothing more than to take him into my aging arms and tell him that I was so proud of the man he had become. Tell him how much I loved him and valued his presences, not only among my family but in my heart.

He was biologically my nephew, but he was the son of my heart, just like his two cousins, they were my children. I had raised them all from little pups. They ushered me into the house, I was fairly quiet, too busy thinking about the youngest family member that was now out there, and hurting. Bo didn't run from his problems, but today he had. Why had things gone so wrong…so quickly? I missed him, his smile, his eyes, that boy could light up a single room with his grin, his giggles.

We spent the next day and a half finding out ways to stop my foolish idiot nephew from killing himself. I had never really yelled at Luke like I did today, but I was worried. Not so much about Luke or Daisy….but about my Bo. I was worried what would happen if we didn't get there in time.

I won't deny that I was terrified as I watched Bo and Luke jump them cars, I wanted to scream at both of them. Instead I stood by. I watched my Bo's heart get broken for really the first time ever in his life. I know he's lost girls before, but never like this. He was quite but happy to be back with us.

I was no fool, which is why I wasn't surprised to hear him get up that night after the jump, after his girl friend had left. I followed him and found him sitting outside on the porch next to him.

"You okay?" I asked softly.

"I'm a dang fool," he whispered in reply, I could hear the wave in his voice.

"Yer you…that don't make ya foolish son."

"Yes it does…Uncle Jesse…I…" he paused and looked at me in the eyes, directly in the eyes, "there ain't no one in my life as important as you, Daisy and Luke…I mean no one. But…I…I can't even explain it," whimpered Bo as he buried his face in his hands.

"Come here son," I pulled him in my arms, holding him tightly as, I felt his arms wrap around my, his face buried in my shoulder. "You ain't no fool, yer a man, and man makes mistakes son. But yer safe now, and ya ain't lost nothing. Luke still loves you, that's why he was so firm in his feelin' 'bout you doin' that jump. An' know Daisy still loves you, that girl can't hate nobody," I suddenly pulled him away for a moment and looked right into his eyes, "and Bo, I will never, ever stop loving you, not until God takes me from this earth and buries me six feet under. Even then I will watch you from heaven. I love you more than you could ever possibly know, and while there may be times I'm disappointed in your actions, I will never stop loving you. Never, yer my little boy," I whispered softly as I pressed a kiss to the blonde top as he leaned against my shoulder.

"Can you forgive me…for what I said…an' did?"

"You were forgiven as soon as you said and did it. I love ya somethin' terrible son, and until you have children of yer own, you won't understand how much that is…but just know that I love ya dearly. I am so proud of the young man you've become, and so proud of the choices you make. Yer still young Bo, ya ain't gonna always be right. I'm old and I ain't right all the time."

"Might as well be," I heard him mumble.

I smiled and chuckled softly, "ah, perhaps, but it just seems like it, cause you don't have all the answers and ya'll have seen me right, I've made mistakes Bo, some I ain't rightly proud of…but I've made some good choices in my life too…and three of them was takin' all of you in."

"Uncle Jesse…will you stay out here with me fer a little longer?"

"I will stay with you fer as long as you need Bo."

We sat in silence for a few moments, he was still leaning against my shoulder, as I continued to keep on arm wrapped around him tightly. Finally he let out a small shiver, and I knew the night air was becoming cold on his bare skin. Standing I helped him to his feet and smiled, "come on boy, back to bed with ya."

I walked him back into the house and to his door. I paused a moment after he slipped inside, "you okay buddy?" came Luke's soft voice.

"Better now…Luke I am sorry."

"I know ya are…so am I…"

"Night cousin."

"G'night Bo, sleep well."

Smiling to myself I made my way back into my own bedroom, but not without looking in on my other youngin', Daisy slept soundly. I sighed as I laid back down on my bed and smiled, my family was back and happy. As long as they were happy, then I would be too.

The End


End file.
